I never cared for carrots,
Nor did I rout for sprouts.
Asparagus was rare,
Nearly never was it there.
My plate was void of any green,
Spinach-less, not one Lima bean.
No parsley or parsnips mixed in with my peas
I dodged away from pepper jack cheese
The worst of all, those teensy green trees
No broccoli crowns in the crudite please!
No, my one joy comes up from the ground
Like portly dirt zombies just lying around
Potato, you see, is the veggie for me
Sliced open and dumped in a sizzling sea
Then tossed and dried, and rolled in spice
A piping heat impermeable to ice
Laid in a waxy bed with slops of dip
Tangy and zesty and perfect to sip
But I dip the crispy spears and swirl about
And sprinkle a tinkle of sauerkraut
I crunch and I munch and I throw on the salt
The fiery tingling is none but my fault
Painful, but fetching, this edible charm
I can’t get enough, I hope there’s no harm
In eating your vegetables, only one I can try
The fucking fantastic French fry.
By Mike Lurie
